Why Werewolves are more McAWESOME than Vampires

This afternoon, I had an argument on twitter with the fabulous Lou Morgan about which is more awesome – Vampires or Werewolves. She is absolutely lovely, so this was all completely good natured, and not an argument really – more of a discussion.

Let me just get this clear right now – NEITHER of us were talking about the sparkly vamps or native shapeshifters from Twilight. We are both true fans of the horror genre, and so if you haplessly stumbled upon this blog and are a fan of that particular franchise … I suggest you move along.

In the discussion, Lou was firmly on the side of the Vamps, and I am afraid Were-fans, that I just couldnt change her mind with 140 character. I, of course, am whole heartedly on the side of the Weres.

Lou’s love of the Vamps started with David from The Lost Boys. A classic film from the 1980’s, and one of which I am also a huge fan of, and indeed I own two tshirts in homage to the movie. If you had asked me back then, I guess I would also have probably been on the side of the Vamps, but then I was going through a bit of a teen gothy stage (one some would say I am still in). The Lost Boys’ vamps were cool, and punky. They were the bad boys you wanted to fancy that you knew would piss off your parents. They never showed remorse or suffered any guilt over treating humans as a food group. They portrayed a life of endless joy rides, with no responsibility and no consequences. It was all just a big laugh to them.

This attitude was really refreshing, particularly when the previous model of vampire was based on oh-so-serious Bela Lugosi’s Dracula. An undeniable classic, but not really one for my generation. The Lost Boys I think, was the first time it was ‘okay’ to fancy Vampires.

But then, things got spoiled. Along came Lestat and Louis.

Now, don’t get me wrong – Lestat and  Louis were interesting characters, and extremely well realised. There was a time when I voraciously read Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, and others of that ilk such as Poppy Z Brite. However, there was always something niggling at me – Vampires shouldnt be a character we empathise with. They are not tortured souls we should fall in love with. MY kind of vampires were cruel, reckless, and evil – real creatures of the night. The Vamp myth was further de-fanged by Buffy & Angel, Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake stories, and the final nail in the coffin for me was the Twilight Saga and all the copy cats this has spawned.

It all just makes me want to puke.

At about the time when I was losing faith in Vamps, a highly stylized fantasy horror film came out called Underworld. It was a breath of fresh air to me. Despite that fact the main protagonist still fell into the popular sexy goth vampire mould, on the most part, the Vamps were selfish, manipulative and plain evil – even if ina slightly camp way (yes, I am looking at you Bill Nighy). The Weres in this film were also ultimately portrayed as the victims in this endless war. I started to remember how much I actually enjoyed Werewolf films. I remembered watching ‘American Werewolf In London’ on VHS when I was about 11 or 12 was a particular highlight. Then later, getting out The Howling from our local video store that didnt care I wasnt over 18. The Werewolf had once again caught my eye, as well as a certain Welsh actor … but we are not here to discuss that.

My top 5 reasons why Werewolves are more McAWESOME than Vampires:

1. The origin for European Vamps is from Vlad the Impaler, a dude reported to have got rid of the beggers and homeless in his town by putting them all in a building and setting it alight. Werewolves, however, have many origins that are often linked with nature, or possibly from berserkers that used to fight dressed in wolf hide – either is good.

2. It is undeniable that the Vampire is uncommonly strong, but against a Werewolf in wolf form, he would get ripped to tiny icky pieces before he so much as straighted his cravat.

3. Werewolves are people too. They only change into their wolf form once a month, and as a woman, I can totally relate to suffering a monthly curse, and that it is probably best not to provoke me during this time. Vampires are Vampires 100% of the time, and so will always be eyeing up your neck when they fancy a snack.

4. Werewolves are hot – and by that I mean they are warm-blooded. They are warm, soft, fuzzy, and outdoorsy. They can go out in the daytime with you, and you can even take them to meet mom and dad for dinner, without fear of them thinking your little brother is the entrée course. Vampires only go out in the daytime, and are cold and hard, effete, and smell like a grave.I know which I would prefer to cuddle next to on a cold night.

5. Werewolves turn into wolves, which are awesome. Loyal, protective and work well in groups/packs, the Werewolf is the ideal family man. Vampires turn into bats. Creatures that have a certain ugly/cute thing going on, but have a very high risk of carrying rabies. Plus, the Vampire is often a solitary, and terrotorial creature. Not a great long term prospect.

Finally, I give you the picture round.

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